Tuesday, October 22, 2002
I was just standing in the elevator by myself and I realized that if I pull up my pants as high as possible, I can give myself the most beautiful camel toe ever seen. It was quite exciting.
Will have to show Rita later.
So although I still feel like I want to kill baby bunnies, I am back at work and trying once again to get through the day with more style and grace than I did yesterday. I refuse to allow my journal to become some angry, bitter bitchfest. Yet, if that's how I am feeling every day, how can I possibly deny it?
For some reason, my right ankle has a problem today. It feels like I chipped a bone or something. Now, understanding that I have done minimal to no exercise in the last couple of days, so how is it possible for me to have chipped a bone? Maybe I did it on the subway? Maybe while I was shoving pizza into my face last night?
Hell. Maybe I did it while I jerked off last night. My masturbatory fantasy was based on circus acrobats, so that makes a bit of sense.
In about 2 hours I get to go have lunch with my boss. He forces this on me every couple of months and I am DUHREADING it. He is a nice guy and all and he will buy me lunch, but UGH!
I hate giving up my only hour of bliss during the day. Especially for anyone I work with.
Guess what?
I use pomeade in my hair now instead of gel.
My throat is still raging against my machine. It's fucking so annoying. Specially if it is something serious. I am super finished with this gladular problem I got goin. Please GO THE FUCK AWAY already!
Last night I was watching the show "Crank Yankers", which if you haven't seen, see! It's pretty fucking hilarious. Last night, there was a skit on there that was done by Sarah Silverman. If you don't know who Sarah Silverman is, then find out! She is BY FAR the funniest lady on the planet. She is raw, real, and so clever that I can't possibly sit and watch anything she does without uriniating all over my bedroom rug. Hence my need to go home and shampoo my carpet tonight. Everything about her is great. I hate comediannes as a general rule, but this girl...now this girl...yeah this girl!
Please familiarize yourself with her work.
Tonight is another episode of the shit Real World.
Maybe Steven will die tonight. On his tombstone it will read: "I fucked up MY LIFE."
God I hate him.
What else?
Already talked about my sore throat, my ankle, my sarah silverman, hmmmmmmmm................
Is it wrong that I want to go home and get blisteringly drunk tonight?
Um, did I just say "blisteringly" drunk?
You see, although I have the worst gladular pains possible, I feel otherwise great! Why should I not drink?
Oh gad.
Probably going to be another night of shoving my face with soup and sleeping.
gad.
This morning as I was leaving for work, Kelly informs me that at like 5:30am the police came with a warrant and tried to bust into our house. She said that they were pounding on her bedroom door (this door connects to the outside) and showed her a photo of the guy they were trying to arrest. After a bunch of hullabaloo and crazy antics, they ended up climbing through our kitchen window to get through to our backyard. The guy lives underneath us. (we live on the first floor. He lives in the basement.) Fucking what?
Kelly tells me that Rita woke up and the two of them sat and watched out the window like two crazy old women. How did I possibly sleep through all of this? I miss all the fun!
Oooh! One more thing...
If you live in NYC, this will affect you.
As you may or may not know, the MTA (Metropolitan Transit Authority) will be raising the subway/bus fare $.50. This means that each ride will now cost the commuter $2.00!
UM!
Outrageous! First it was the cigarettes. Now it's the metrocard. This city is going to kill us all.
or at least make us all poor and hungry, but with great calf muscles from walking everywhere.
If you think that this increase is completely ludicrous, please go to Straphangers and read more about it.
Also, please consider calling George Pataki himself at 212-681-4580 to voice your opinion.
In a Democratic society, such as we pretend to have, nothing will ever change unless we open up our mouths and demand it.
I will make my call today.
When will you make yours?
ouch. My throat hurts.
and my ankle too.
I am going to write it every five minutes just so none of you forget!
Baright.
Guess that is it for right now.
Paul should be here tomorrow night.
ROCK.
and
ROLL.
Will have to show Rita later.
So although I still feel like I want to kill baby bunnies, I am back at work and trying once again to get through the day with more style and grace than I did yesterday. I refuse to allow my journal to become some angry, bitter bitchfest. Yet, if that's how I am feeling every day, how can I possibly deny it?
For some reason, my right ankle has a problem today. It feels like I chipped a bone or something. Now, understanding that I have done minimal to no exercise in the last couple of days, so how is it possible for me to have chipped a bone? Maybe I did it on the subway? Maybe while I was shoving pizza into my face last night?
Hell. Maybe I did it while I jerked off last night. My masturbatory fantasy was based on circus acrobats, so that makes a bit of sense.
In about 2 hours I get to go have lunch with my boss. He forces this on me every couple of months and I am DUHREADING it. He is a nice guy and all and he will buy me lunch, but UGH!
I hate giving up my only hour of bliss during the day. Especially for anyone I work with.
Guess what?
I use pomeade in my hair now instead of gel.
My throat is still raging against my machine. It's fucking so annoying. Specially if it is something serious. I am super finished with this gladular problem I got goin. Please GO THE FUCK AWAY already!
Last night I was watching the show "Crank Yankers", which if you haven't seen, see! It's pretty fucking hilarious. Last night, there was a skit on there that was done by Sarah Silverman. If you don't know who Sarah Silverman is, then find out! She is BY FAR the funniest lady on the planet. She is raw, real, and so clever that I can't possibly sit and watch anything she does without uriniating all over my bedroom rug. Hence my need to go home and shampoo my carpet tonight. Everything about her is great. I hate comediannes as a general rule, but this girl...now this girl...yeah this girl!
Please familiarize yourself with her work.
Tonight is another episode of the shit Real World.
Maybe Steven will die tonight. On his tombstone it will read: "I fucked up MY LIFE."
God I hate him.
What else?
Already talked about my sore throat, my ankle, my sarah silverman, hmmmmmmmm................
Is it wrong that I want to go home and get blisteringly drunk tonight?
Um, did I just say "blisteringly" drunk?
You see, although I have the worst gladular pains possible, I feel otherwise great! Why should I not drink?
Oh gad.
Probably going to be another night of shoving my face with soup and sleeping.
gad.
This morning as I was leaving for work, Kelly informs me that at like 5:30am the police came with a warrant and tried to bust into our house. She said that they were pounding on her bedroom door (this door connects to the outside) and showed her a photo of the guy they were trying to arrest. After a bunch of hullabaloo and crazy antics, they ended up climbing through our kitchen window to get through to our backyard. The guy lives underneath us. (we live on the first floor. He lives in the basement.) Fucking what?
Kelly tells me that Rita woke up and the two of them sat and watched out the window like two crazy old women. How did I possibly sleep through all of this? I miss all the fun!
Oooh! One more thing...
If you live in NYC, this will affect you.
As you may or may not know, the MTA (Metropolitan Transit Authority) will be raising the subway/bus fare $.50. This means that each ride will now cost the commuter $2.00!
UM!
Outrageous! First it was the cigarettes. Now it's the metrocard. This city is going to kill us all.
or at least make us all poor and hungry, but with great calf muscles from walking everywhere.
If you think that this increase is completely ludicrous, please go to Straphangers and read more about it.
Also, please consider calling George Pataki himself at 212-681-4580 to voice your opinion.
In a Democratic society, such as we pretend to have, nothing will ever change unless we open up our mouths and demand it.
I will make my call today.
When will you make yours?
ouch. My throat hurts.
and my ankle too.
I am going to write it every five minutes just so none of you forget!
Baright.
Guess that is it for right now.
Paul should be here tomorrow night.
ROCK.
and
ROLL.
